The ongoing festive season is a time of celebration and togetherness, beginning with festivals such as Janmashtami and Ganeshotsav and continuing through Navratri, Dussehra and Diwali, followed by Christmas and New Year’s Eve. However, while many people look forward to spending time with family and friends, others experience loneliness during this period. The emphasis on togetherness can make the absence of loved ones, living away from home or feeling socially disconnected more noticeable. Social media can add to this feeling, with images of celebrations and family gatherings prompting people to compare their lives with those of others.
Despite this, loneliness often remains difficult to discuss because of the stigma surrounding mental health.
World Mental Health Day, observed on October 10, highlights the importance of mental health awareness and advocacy. As the festive season unfolds, mid-day.com speaks to Dr Santosh Bangar, senior consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Hotel in Parel, and Dr Niti Sapru, consultant psychiatrist at Holy Family Hospital in Bandra, about why loneliness can intensify during festivals, how social media influences the experience and what people can do to maintain meaningful connections.
They highlighted now the festive season, mixed with social media, heightens loneliness, especially in metros like Mumbai for new city-dwellers.
While most people are happy during festivals, why do some people feel lonely and depressed at the same time of the year?
Bangar: Festivals create an environment of happiness, togetherness, and celebration. For someone who is away from family, going through a difficult phase or comparing their life with others or grieving, this particular moment can make feelings of loneliness more noticeable. The pressure to appear happy can also make it harder for people to acknowledge what they are actually feeling.
Sapru: Festivals have the meaning of togetherness, celebration and family, so there is an expectation of happiness. It can heighten the sense of loneliness for individuals who are bereaved, isolated from family, in a bad patch or already feeling down. It can be the case that when others celebrate, they focus on what they feel they lack. It is important to keep in mind that feelings don’t adhere to a schedule.
Does festive loneliness differ with different age groups? If yes, why?
Bangar: Young adults may feel lonely because of social comparison or being away from home, while older adults may experience loneliness because of bereavement, children moving away, or reduced social interaction. Each age group can experience the same emotion for very different reasons.
Sapru: Yes. Young adults may feel lonely because they are not at home, or they have moved to a new place, or feel left out when they see their peers partying or having no partner. An empty house, loss of a loved one and/or living alone may cause problems for older people. Work stress and shift of family responsibilities can be a factor with middle-aged people. The feeling may be the same but the reasons could be different.
With the use of social media to post about festivities, have social networking sites made it worse? How is social media connected to loneliness?
Bangar: Social media can sometimes intensify loneliness because people mostly see carefully selected images of celebrations, happy families and social gatherings. Someone who is already feeling lonely may compare their reality with these posts and feel that they are missing out. At the same time, meaningful online interaction can also help people stay connected when used mindfully. These days we are socially connected, but still socially isolated.
Sapru: Social media can increase feelings of loneliness, at the same time provides ways for people to connect. In festivals, photographs of celebration and family reuniting flood various social platforms.
Others who are feeling lonely might find it difficult to differentiate between their own situation and these stereotypes and feel they are not as lucky as those presented in the media. Using social media to make real connections is important, not for the definition of how well our lives are going. Social media is a double edged sword, and depends on how we use it or are ruled by it.
What is the difference between festive loneliness and loneliness that people feel otherwise?
Bangar: Festive loneliness often stems from the contrast between the expectation of togetherness and a person’s actual circumstances.
During festivals, reminders of family, traditions, and social gatherings can make the absence of loved ones feel stronger. Ordinary loneliness may be more constant and may not be linked to a particular occasion.
Sapru: Festival related loneliness, not festive loneliness, is time bound and usually settles back to the normal mood for that individual. Lingering sense of loneliness not related just to festival times is more long-lasting and may require mental health visit if severe and disrupting the quality of life or daily life of that individual.
What are some of the symptoms of loneliness and how can those around help?
Bangar: Loneliness can show up as sadness, withdrawal, irritability, low motivation, changes in sleep or appetite and loss of interest in activities. People around them should avoid dismissing these feelings and instead check in, listen without judgement and offer genuine companionship. Even a simple phone call or invitation can make a person feel remembered and valued.
Sapru: Loneliness is not a disorder or disease to have symptoms. The sense of loneliness itself is often a symptom of more serious issues like depression, adjustment to life situations, issues, personality disturbances etc. Persisting, pervasive loneliness is better managed by experts along with support of a loved one, friends, family, or even at times supportive work atmosphere, that is inclusive, not competitive or judgemental.
What are some of the steps people can take to avoid feeling lonely including managing social media habits?
Bangar: People can plan small activities, stay connected with friends or relatives and participate in activities they genuinely enjoy. Social media breaks can be useful, especially if scrolling leaves them feeling inadequate or left out. Instead of passively consuming posts, they can use technology for meaningful conversations, calls, or shared activities.
Sapru: When loneliness is not a symptom of a psychiatric diagnoses, then this question becomes more relevant. Establishing and maintaining a supportive network of work colleagues, friends, peers, nurturing healthy, close family ties, being mindful of one’s needs, prioritising work life balance, if possible, and inculcating some sense of regularity with respect to balanced diet, exercise, recreation, hobbies are some things that may help dealing with loneliness of non-psychiatric causes.
Has the loneliness epidemic worsened over the years and why is loneliness still a difficult concept for people to understand when talking about mental health?
Bangar: Loneliness has received much more attention in recent years, particularly as people increasingly recognise the importance of social connection for mental well-being. It remains difficult to discuss because loneliness is often mistaken for simply being alone. A person can be surrounded by people and still feel emotionally disconnected, which is why the experience is often misunderstood.
Sapru: Humans are social beings who have survived life-threatening challenges through the evolutionary cycle by virtue of being in groups. Modern day living strives more towards individuality, unitary set ups in family settings, coupled with at the drop of a tap the access to connections with humans, albeit virtual, not in person. Yes, loneliness by virtue of modern living is steering more towards loneliness or loss of community living.
Admitting to flaws or need to connect or belonging may seem threatening or not so cool to some. With respect to mental health the stigma, silence, shame, discrimination all may contribute to secrecy regarding the suffering of a psychiatric illness, leaving the person to deal with loneliness where these matters are concerned.
In a city like Mumbai, can the loneliness during the festive season be worse or does it help with so many activities and events constantly taking place?
Bangar: Mumbai offers many activities and opportunities to connect, but being surrounded by crowds does not automatically prevent loneliness. For someone who feels disconnected from family or their social circle, seeing celebrations around them can sometimes make that feeling more prominent. The important factor is meaningful connection rather than simply being around people.
Sapru: Mumbai, or for that matter, any tier 1 metropolitan city of India, is a mixed bag of cultures. A new migrant with hardly any contacts versus residents of Mumbai for some years or native of Mumbai will experience these occasions differently. People are different temperamentally, social extroverts vs introverts, those with psychiatric issues vs the so called normal —all may experience such times differently.
It’s difficult and unwise to make a general statement, as that would amount to not being cognisant of the experiences of many who cannot be categorised as one entity.
As many people live alone in the city, can that worsen loneliness? What are some things they can do on their own to deal with the feeling?
Bangar: Living alone does not necessarily mean being lonely, and people can build routines that include both self-care and social connection. They can pursue hobbies, exercise, explore community activities, volunteer, or maintain regular contact with loved ones.
Creating a few predictable points of connection during the week can be particularly helpful.
Sapru: Living alone does not necessarily mean being lonely. Structure and purpose can be provided by a routine, exercises, engaging in hobbies, reading, cooking or getting outside. Meanwhile, regular contact with friends and family, and engaging in activities or communities that promote interaction needs to be maintained.
Lastly, what can families do together even though they are away from each other?
Bangar: Families can create their own shared traditions even when they cannot be physically together. Video calls, online games, watching a movie together, sharing meals virtually, or cooking the same festive recipe can create a sense of participation. The focus should be on making the interaction meaningful rather than simply having a call in the background.
Sapru: Families can schedule video calls, have a virtual meal together, play online video games, watch the same film or share photographs and festive traditions. The important thing is to make these interactions meaningful rather than obligatory. Even a short conversation where family members genuinely listen to one another can help people feel connected.
Families need to learn to communicate sensitive matters and be non-judgemental and supportive when a member is sharing a painful or embarrassing experience. When this is not possible, professional help with family therapy may help.
Mumbai doctors explain why loneliness can feel worse during festivals
